Okafor’s Law states that “once a man has had a woman, he can have her again at any time.” So if you have been involved in a relationship with a girl for over a period of time and you did a great job, in and out of the bedroom(mostly in), the belief is that you can always go to the girl at any given time and sleep with the girl no matter what situation arises (break ups, different lovers etc) — says the urban dictionary.
To be sincere, I just heard of this ideology yesterday 18th February 2018 – I have to write the date for future references. Indeed who ever came up with that Law, must have tested it’s validity over a period of time — he must have been from the east like me. So it’s obvious why a movie was made to prove this so called Law — of which they (the producers I guess) earned up 90million Naira in viewership. Sourced from wikipedia.org
Being a movie, everything probably went according to the script.
Although I haven’t watched this movie (Okarfor’s Law) before – and do not intend to, I feel it wouldn’t be profitable or in anyway educative for me to see it. This movie already sold out, so please don’t see me as a spoiler. I recently just knew about this ideology and decided to write about it. Here is my story.
So I eavesdroped into a conversation among some guys who exclaimed “Men! From today your name is Okafor” — I could feel the excitement . They laughed over it while I shoke hands with them and moved on – Passerby . Surprisingly, when I got home I decided to watch TV – quite unlike me who does not. Guess what I saw on MTVBase; an interview done on public figures – sponsored by Gulder Beer. Guess what they were discussing about — Okafor’s Law.
📌I noticed that, While the men were endorseing the reality of the Law, the Ladies were trying to suggest how it does not work all the time.
So my question to myself were ;
😐”Why does it even work? — if not all the time”
😐What kind of a man goes back to his X to sleep with her without any plan of reestablishing the relationship?
😐What kind of a woman let’s that happen?
😐Is this a godly idea in anyway?
So I tried to answer it to myself and I am hoping to get oppinions from relationship experts like you – writter smiles
Briefly, i think its because of lust and nothing close to love. Common! think about this, why would a guy decide to take advantage (as i see it) of a lady he once dated and actually ended the relationship? And why would a lady willing allow her X, when she should be moving forward not backward?
This reminds of a roommate back in the day —in university who applied this Law (although he never knew of such a law like I). He said that after he invited the lady over and one thing led to another – smiles and sex happened , the lady asked him; “So what are we?”.
The most confusing question to ask a guy a times is “What are we?”
This should be the first thing a lady should be clear about when the man is not acting like the usual “brother in the Lord” or “Buddy“.
If he starts calling “hubby” or “bae” or “babe” only after you had sex, it could be that his understanding of those terms is; “someone I can sleep with or usually sleep with“. But please my dear sister, if he hasn’t defined the relationship please don’t make it obvious to him that you want you guys to “take it to another level”. It begins with how you address him.
Never make him feel he is following your lead, else he would be confused when you pop the big “what are we” question.
It is the man’s responsibility to define the relationship and not the woman. Make him define it to your face and not on whatsapp.
Proverbs 26:11 — As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.
I would liken such a man to a dog. But even dogs ain’t rational like human beings. So their behavior is quite normal with thier nature.
Humans should be like Doves
There are not many dove-like persons around.
Have you really wondered why of every existing bird, the Holy Spirit decended as a Dove?
The Dove unlike every other living creature, sticks to only one mate. If the mate dies, they never mate with another dove unlike dogs or other animals. You could google this mystery.
This explains why God calls us his bride. He is devoted to us and desires we be devoted to him only and be equally yoked with believers like us. We can’t say we are of him and still live in spiritual darkness — 1 John 1:6.
Click ⛪Here to learn about spiritual darkness in my article titled : Five Questions Every Christian Should Be Able To Answer.
Another fact could be that such a man is “double minded” and always never straight forward. The Bible mentions of the term “double minded” twice. Here is what it had to say;
James 1:8—A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.
Now you see why he keeps going back to his X? . He is not even sure if he made the right decision to breakup with her— maybe the sex was great – writer smiles.
I told you in one of my articles, how the only relationship I ever had lasted only a month. One thing i didn’t tell you was what I said to her on our first official date — some are really unofficial.
Please dear, never think of a future with me If I ever see your nakedness.
Common, I dont just say that to any lady I meet. But when I really like someone and plan to be In a relationship with them, I really have to tell them that. So If I loose guard of my boundaries she should have built a strong wall against me. Thus, if we do not eventually get married, no one feels hurt and there will be no need for Okafor’s Law but rather God’s Law of Love.
Finally we are getting to the end if this article with one more question to go.
This is really a difficult one to answer. So I beckon on the ladies to pardon and correct me if I am wrong considering my assertions.
Firstly, I think such a lady could be emotionally unstable — similar to the man. I am implying that she might be in yet another “not too sure of a future” relationship with a new guy and thus feels being a side-chick to her X isn’t really a problem — just in case he decides to pop the big “will you marry me” question. Some guys like me — the writer, are quite unpredictable I think.
If lovers ever end up as friends, then they were never lovers.
So I talked to a lady about this and here is what she has to say;
” George, each time you come up with controversial questions like this, I am always afraid to answer. But anyway this one allows me to be subjective. I feel the question shouldn’t be “what kind of a woman allows that?” but “why would a woman allow that?” I think any woman who has had sex with a guy before could still allow her X Into her life again. Let’s say he just knows her “mumu botten” — she means ways to get her down. I think sometimes it’s because the lady hasn’t gotten over him. Before any one decides to end any relationship, he/she had taken time to psych his/her mind on why the relationship should end. Since guys like you often brakeup with us — writer smiles , sometimes it takes long for is Ladies to process it and get over the shock. Its even worse when regular sex was involved — especially when the girl was a faithful partner. I know you might be a novice George, but take this from a lady with experience. Although I resisted my X when he came back, I wished I didn’t after he left. But from our conversation so far, I am glad we never happened again. You men are mean a times”
💡 If you are a lady reading this article, do you agree with my friends idea?
So I would continue by saying that, sometimes the lady just loves sex . I think the better word to use is Fornication or Adultery. Saying “sex” just sounds cool — it should only sound cool in marriage.
A friend tried saying that such girls are not spiritual. Here is what I sent to him below.
You might want to check out my personal story I kept secret for years. Click 💡 Here
After all you have read – that’s if you actually read this wonderful piece, what do you think would be the answer to my final question?
I would be pleased to know what you think about Okafor’s Law.
Kindly use the comment section as I would reply everyone of your ideas. Also I have other interesting articles you might be interested in about relationships. I am not a relationship guru but I do have godly insights you might learn one or two from. Check out the links below.